Last week’s question was “What do I Fear?”. I have to tell you, I did not love the exercise this week, but I did learn a few things. Here are a few of the things I fear:
Being judged, Being ridiculed, Not being a good mom/wife/friend, Not being a good enough Christian, Public speaking, Getting old, Not being a good business owner, Not having enough money, Not having enough energy, Being too distracted, The dentist, Not having impact.
Whew! Makes you want to reach for some Xanax huh? I didn’t love this exercise because it felt like I was moving backwards to list out the things that scared me. I’m a coach for crying out loud, I make my living helping people see and celebrate the positive.
A miraculous thing happened though. When I went back and read what I wrote at the end of the week, a pattern started to emerge. I’m sure you had no problem seeing it, but I didn’t until I looked at my notes all together. My fears were almost exclusively about judgment and expectations (or more aptly put, ENOUGH). But who is judging me (other than myself) and what exactly is “enough”? These are nebulous concepts that come from a lack of confidence and a desire to please others.
Okay, so you have this depressing list of fears, now what? Now I’ll take a look at each one of my fears and ask myself “What is real?” and “What can you do about it?”
For example, I fear getting old because I haven’t always practiced self-care and need to take better care of myself in the future. That’s a fear I can do something about. I can exercise, eat better, and everything else will have to be left up to God and modern medicine.
Being judged, however, is just to ill-defined. I will be judged or not judged for what I stand for and what my actions are. I cannot control the judging, but I can control my actions. Let my actions show the world what impact I want to have and let the judgers be damned 🙂
I hope you were able to learn from this exercise like I was. It’s a prime example of why we shouldn’t always ask ourselves the feel-good questions. Sometimes the best lessons come when you explore something uncomfortable. If you struggled with this exercise much like I did, ask yourself “What is real?” and “What can I do about it?”
Now for a new Question of the Week: What is possible?
“You must find the place inside yourself where nothing is impossible.”
– Deepak Chopra
You know the drill. Write down three things that come to mind when you ask yourself What is Possible. Do this each day and see what you discover. I’m interested to see what we each have at the end of the week.
Share your story. Share your observations. Let’s see what’s possible together.1